months ago, i was watching the most influential artist-couple in Korea. they are in fame for their contributions towards society albeit their acting/singing skills. perhaps their adorable children steal some of the attentions. one thing that made them prominent is when the wife said this 'having a 5-year-experience living with him, whenever he is next to me - my heart flutters'
jaw dropping!
this morning, albeit the sores on my body (due to the sudden excess exercise), i remember that feeling; doki-doki/dugeun-dugeun/thump thump/lub dup lub dup.
i thought i have lost it. like happily losing it, but sadly it never went away.
i remember after a long hiatus, he made me breakfast in the kitchen. i just let him do all his job and we're having a meal like a stranger. it felt weird but OK. i couldn't see him in the eyes even i had almost feelings out of him - at least there were traces of memories but i kindly ignored them away.
but i noticed after that moment, my heart rumbled as crazy as it could. and i (think i) fell in love with him again.
along with high tides and long winding road, we were apart again. this time for true as i swear myself never to see him again.
albeit new life he leads (yet it took me unfrivolously long time to get over him by saying I'm happy he's happy), we were in contact without i finish saying ...he's happy.
i thought i've moved on. i thought we've ended. i thought he heads a bigger family and make me saying with a big smile; 'yeah! he's happy'
yet we are, meeting at the adjoining point in our life to think where this will end. it might not yet resume but i don't want this to end either.
a small voice saying this to me - let's put this to a dead end where we have to get back on our life and let us not to cross-path. that'll be better.
on the other hands, let your heart flutters without knowing what lies ahead.
as for now, let the flow lead me the way.
